Funeral Etiquette

Funeral etiquette is important to the dignity of closure. Proper decorum includes not upstaging the family, who should be seated in the front of the chapel.

They will enter the chapel after everyone else is seated, but guests will stand respectfully as the family enters and then re-seat themselves. The family will file out first, again with the guests rising respectfully. Only after the family is out of the chapel should the guests begin to leave.

Normally people wear black or dark colors to a funeral which is traditional wear. No one should ever show up at a funeral dressed in Levi's, a t-shirt, and flip-flops, or in attire suggesting that he arrived on and intends to leave on a very greasy motorcycle, unless the deceased was himself a biker and the family has indicated their willingness to have guests arrive in biker attire.

Beyond that, different cultures have different rules. If you go to a funeral outside your own culture, be certain that your dress and conduct meet the standards of that culture. Libraries have books about funeral etiquette, and you can probably look them up online. It is better to be conservative in such matters; for example, if the deceased is Catholic, although the Catholic Church has discontinued requiring women to cover their heads in church, there are likely to be older people there who still remember and follow that rule. That being so, if you are a woman you should at least drape a lace handkerchief over your head as a sign of respect.

Depending on the culture, everybody at the funeral may then proceed to the cemetery, or only family and close friends may go. If the deceased is to be buried in a location a considerable distance away, only family and religious leaders will go to the burial. If the deceased is to be cremated, normally only intimate family members go to the crematorium. In some cultures, such as the traditional Navajo, the burial is done in secret, and very few people even know where the body is buried.

Funeral customs are designed to provide closure for family and close friends. Don't let your conduct mar the occasion. If you show respect, faux pas will be forgiven; but if you fail to show respect, even the most proper behavior may be resented.